Stronger Together: Twenty-Five Years and Counting
How We Met
I met my wife, Shafieka, twenty-five years ago on a cricket field. It was just an ordinary day, nothing planned or expected, but that moment turned out to be the start of our life together.
A Quick Beginning
From the very beginning, things moved quickly. Three months after we met, we were married. Some people thought we were rushing, but we did not see it that way. When you meet someone who feels like home, you do not waste time.
Building on Respect
From day one, our relationship was built on respect. We made a promise to each other early on that no matter what happened during the day, we would never go to bed angry. Whatever disagreement we had, we would work it out before we closed our eyes. In twenty-five years of marriage, there have only been two nights when we did not keep that promise. Those nights were difficult, but they reminded us how important it is to protect the peace in our home.
Facing Life Together
Like any couple, we have had our ups and downs. Life has not always been smooth, but through it all, we have held onto each other. We have been blessed with three beautiful children, and raising them has been one of our greatest joys. Parenting came with its own challenges, but we faced them together, as a team.
Respecting Roles
In our marriage, we have always respected each other’s roles. I have taken on the responsibility of providing for our family, while Shafieka has run our household and kept everything together. She is the heart of our home. There is no competition between us because we understand and value what each of us brings to our life together.
The Real Meaning of Marriage
When I look back on these twenty-five years, it is not just the big milestones that stand out. Marriage is not about being perfect or having it all figured out. It is about choosing each other, day after day, even when things get tough. That is what Shafieka and I have done for the past twenty-five years, and it is what we will keep doing for the next twenty-five.
Gratitude and Hope
As I think about our journey so far, I feel deeply grateful. Grateful for the life we have built, for the family we have raised, and for the love and respect that have carried us through every challenge. The journey continues, and I look forward to every step of it with my wife by my side.
Reflections on Gender-Based Violence
The Limits of Awareness
In my view, gender-based violence is a complex issue that we often approach too narrowly. While there is a great deal of awareness being raised through campaigns, workshops, and conversations, the reality is that many women return home to the very environments where the violence continues. Awareness alone is not enough if there is no real, sustainable support to help them change their circumstances.
The Overlooked Side
At the same time, I believe there is another side to gender-based violence that is rarely spoken about. Men can also be victims of forms of gender-based harm, though this looks different. For instance, there are fathers who deeply love their children and want to play an active role in their lives, but the mother may deny them that access out of anger, spite, or unresolved conflict. To me, this too is a form of gender-based violence, one that causes emotional pain and disrupts families.
A Holistic Approach
I feel strongly that we need to look at gender-based violence holistically. It cannot only be viewed through the lens of women’s experiences, even though those experiences are incredibly important and must be addressed with urgency. Men and women are part of the same relationships and social structures, and if we want to create meaningful change, we have to consider both sides of the equation. True progress will come when we move beyond blame and start building systems of support and understanding for everyone affected.
